I do hope, with much sincerity, that no other professional male state’s upon hearing that I’m a full time Dad, how lucky I am, and how they wish that they could do it. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but if you do you lying, patronising louts, I will happily risk a custodial sentence and attempt to smash your face in. This may seem a bit harsh, and quite possibly a tad thuggish, but if someone were to constantly poke a bruise that you may have, it would eventually provoke a violent reaction from even the most pacifistic of people. I must quickly point out that I certainly do not see my current role as a ‘bruise’ but, sometimes it is a psychological sore point, one that I am almost at terms with. In fact, it has opened my eyes to many potential new opportunities in life that I would have never considered before, and no, I’m not starting a ‘cup cake’ business.
Many a fine, happy, educational and productive child rearing day passes. Then along comes ‘smarmy pay lip service to being modern man!’ to lay siege on my ‘maternal’ instincts. These men usually hold an executive position at work. They are definitely career men who have children. These children are usually at full time nursery, or have some other arrangement, that basically means that they are not at home between the hours of 07.00-19.30, Mon – Friday. This means, in their eyes, that they ‘miss out’ on so much, or so they would have you believe. Poppycock! Total Crap! Do not believe a word of their lies. At best, those that genuinely believe what they say, it’s ‘rose tinted glasses’. In all probability, it’s a case of ‘make the poor chap feel less inferior’ syndrome. This all stinks of a self induced inferiority complex I know, and it most definitely is. However, men like this do not help. Proper men laugh and goad me, call me Mary Poppins, Mrs Doubtfire and ask me what’s on Loose Women tomorrow. They tell me I shouldn’t be drinking if I’m breast feeding and ask me what time is dinner. Or they simply state “rather you than me!” exactly as it should be.